I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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