I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this hospital has no fireball
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
