Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My cat gives me a boner
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
