capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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