Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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