PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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