I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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