Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
