how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
