Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
