He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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