If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
