ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
