what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
