he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All I want is dick and wine.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
