Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
