hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't turn off my feet"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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