I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
