i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
