You did a strip tease for the toilet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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