You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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