u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
where are you?
Hypothermia
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
