Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
