After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
