oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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