Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
