From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
