Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
