ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
