she was so not down for the gang bang
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
