im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
