Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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