she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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