oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
