i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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