im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
