So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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