Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Im part way to drunk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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