I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
