dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
