mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
