I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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