have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
