yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
