Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
