I don't remember. Are we still dating?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
