never play flip cup with pint glasses
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
