I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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