he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
