I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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