I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
