Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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