His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
