Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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