i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
