I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I cockslap morals
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
