Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can't talk, ducks in the car
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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