I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize