it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
