He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
